Friends

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So I decided to create this blog to just sort of write out my feelings about life. I tend to get really philosophical, usually this occurs late at night, and I end up writing in a journal or maybe writing a poem. The other night I was thinking about life and had talked with my cousin a few weeks earlier and she had said that I had some great advice and inspiring words, so I thought, “Hey, maybe other people will enjoy my late night ramblings and philosophical thoughts as well!” thus the blog began. So to all my nonexistent readers right now, and hopefully my many future readers, welcome to my life and my inner monologue, from this day forward I consider you some of my closest friends, I will be here whenever you need me to pick you up when you are feeling down, to inspire you to do better, and to remind you how truly wonderful you are. That being said, if you want to know about anything, or have any concerns you need someone to talk to feel free to comment about it and I will also be setting up an email shortly to receive messages that way. I may only be in my 20s but I feel like I have lived a lifetime and a half, there is not many things I haven’t been through or experienced in one form or another, so most likely I will be able to help in some way.

Alright, on to what I originally wanted to blog about. Tonight was a great night for me, it was date night!! No, not your normal date, I haven’t had one of those in God I don’t know, maybe since senior year, and not a truly a first date since my freshman year of high school, I’m a junior in college right now, long term relationship problems, but I had a date night with my best friend and soul mate. Yes, she is my soul mate, maybe not in your typical sense but we are so much alike it is almost ridiculous. If you have never gotten dressed up and gone to a fancy restaurant with your best friend you do not know what you are missing. It is so great to know you’re looking hot and that you’re going to have a great time no matter what since hellooooo they are your best friend for a reason right? Well you need to do it, nothing makes you happier than spending a night out with someone who never judges you no matter how stupid you look when you fling a carrot across the bar when trying to get it off of your fondue fork, yes that did actually happen tonight, and yes it was hilarious. Friends are good for your soul. They make you laugh, smile, and sometimes a little crazy but that’s the beauty of friendship no matter the ups and downs, the distances or the boyfriends, if they are your best friend they will be there through it all. When you find someone like that hold on to them. I was lucky enough to make 5 new best friends in the past year alone. I am equally as lucky to be living with one this year and 4 of them next year. Friends pick you up when you’re down, and I’m not sure where I would be today if I didn’t have them in my life. Its great to be excited to come home to your best friends, or to look forward to hanging out with them every weekend and just doing silly girls nights when you don’t wanna go out. Needless to say I’m in love with my friends and with my life. Have I gone through troubles and lost friends, of course, some of my best friends I have lost over stupid fights that caused distancing from each other to the point where you don’t even talk to them at all. It’s hard, it truly is, but I have also gone through it and then gotten back closer with numerous friends from back home, so I am a true believer that the people that are meant to be in your life will be no matter what happens. I have a best friend of over 16 years to prove that. So don’t give up on a friendship you really want to  work because if its worth it to you and there’s more good than bad keep trying, that can be said about any sort of relationship really. That being said, once there’s more bad than good, when there’s more drama than happiness and if every time you talk it’s a fight, cut them loose. Life is way too short to spend it miserable and putting more than what you should into a relationship. I learned that the hard way numerous times. I can be the sweetest, most giving person putting everyone else’s happiness before my own but I have gotten past the point of making myself miserable in the process, as should everyone else. Remember your own happiness trumps everything else. Work on yourself first, your own life, your own happiness. Once you are happy with yourself and happy with your life, everything else will fall into place.

Hope

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You know how people always say one day you’ll meet someone and it’ll change your whole life, your entire view of the world, well I never really believed them, well not until just recently. I was at a point in my life where I was done with love, over trying and getting burned over and over again, it seemed to be the only thing that ever happened for me when I wasn’t with my ex. Yes, I made some dumb decisions, yes there are some regrets, well maybe not entirely regrets since they have shaped me into who I am today, but some mistakes I made and you can ask any of my best friends I was over it all. I was numb, I didn’t want not had feelings because all it led to was hurt and heartbreak. I had spent months hoping and then being let down, I had tried over and over to keep believing in love, heck I had already managed to have a 2 and a 5 year relationship at this point that both failed yet I still had hope. Well until I didn’t anymore. I had given up all hope. And that’s when I met him. It was a new school year and I have always been the athletic type, name a sport and I’ve probably played it, thus IM sports are one of my favorite things about college, so I went and I joined a sand volleyball team, I played volleyball in high school so it was the obvious choice. Little did I know that this small, meaningless decision was actually one of the best things that has happened to me. He was tall, very muscular, blonde hair and blue eyes, think Chris Evans in Captain America only more muscular, very much my type in every way. I mean at first I didn’t think much of it, I had gotten to the point of hoping for anything with anyone, but then a couple weeks in I started noticing things about him like how he seemed to be just as competitive as I was, we had managed to lose 2 games in a row, but he was nice and funny so I thought hey why not and decided to Facebook message him. Oh man I know right? Technology these days haha that’s when I really got to know him, and let me tell you, he was even nicer than I had ever imagined. He works out daily so when I was complaining about not being in shape he invited me to join him at the gym. Now I don’t know if you know much about guys and lifting but they don’t often invite girls to join them, not if they are serious about it but he did. I was amazed at his kindness and knew I needed to take him up on it since frankly I wanted my rockin’ bod back. After spending time with him in the gym I began to let myself hope again, and not just hope but imagine a life with him. They say sometimes when you meet someone you just know, you can picture the rest of your lives with them, and scarily enough that’s where I was. Now what I should tell you is this was just a month or so ago and no we aren’t even dating, although it does seem like it’s heading that way, we are both just so busy with classes it’s been hectic, but we talk on the daily so I’m hopeful. Even if nothing ever becomes of it, I managed to gain a great friend and someone who had got be hooked on working out again, something that’s great to be addicted to let me tell ya. But more than that I’ve gained hope again, he’s pulled me out of this dark place I didn’t even realize I was in until I met him. He makes me want to give love another try, to think hey you know what this could really be it this time. And honestly it’s the best feeling, just how amazing someone can make you feel or how just texting or talking with them turns your whole day around. I went out on a limb and put myself back out there and here’s to hoping that this time there’ll be someone there to catch me when I fall, preferably someone with extremely sexy muscular arms 😉